While our TMB goal is never, necessarily, to shatter records or win awards, we are all relatively competitive individuals. I have never entered one race without a goal. And even in my "first" races, when the obvious goal was to finish, I always had a time in mind. You always need a challenge.
So when TMB went back to work this past weekend in LBI, we had two of our more competitive members on the course. And congratulations go out to them both for top 5 finishes (out of 39) in their age group and top 50 finishes (out of 416) overall:
Rob Balerna finished 1st in his age group with a time of 50:11 -- good for 13th overall.
Tom Smith finished 5th in that same age group with a time of 56:10 -- 48th overall.
Congratulations, guys, and thanks for representing the Bear!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Gavin's Flag Debut
Here's a quick "highlight" video from Gavin's first flag football game. Go Giants.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Dear "Anonymous,"
I received this message last week as a comment on an earlier post. I decided not to post the comment because of its personal nature; I hope, however, that the author doesn't mind my editing it for privacy and displaying it here as an anonymous message? If the author does mind, please let me know and I will take it down immediately.
Although we have never met, I know that the Brown family is remarkable! I have been visiting Molly's page and now your new page for some time now and felt I could never find the right words to type that would make a difference. I have a son that is Gavin's age ([he] turned 5 in May) and just started Kindergarten and flag football as well. I lost a son to T18 in November 2006 and like you I never got to say goodbye. [He] became an angel before he was ever born. I often found myself checking in on Molly's accomplishments and wishing and wondering what it would have been like for us if [our son] had lived. Molly brought so much hope, sunshine, and optimism to my view of T18 and for that I will forever be grateful. She helped me realize that through the incredible dark hole of sadness that there would be laughter, hope, and sunshine again. She helped me get to a place where I can now celebrate [my son]'s life (no matter how short). [They] are both angels and have both touched my heart and soul and left lasting footprints.
Molly is a beautiful little girl and I will forever remember her smile. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
[Anonymous]
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for taking time to write. Your words mean a great deal to us and we are so thankful to know that people find some comfort and/or understanding from sharing our journey with us. I would say you found just the right words to make a difference. Knowing that Molly's short life had meaning beyond the great joy she brought our family makes more of a difference than I could ever possibly express. I will ask the Bear to give your little angel a hug; I'm quite certain they have met already.
With sincere appreciation,
Sean
Reading that message was like an epiphany. Not that I don't appreciate all the things people have done or said (relative to this space) over the last two plus years, but this note really hit home. I have hoped for a while now that there would be some rational explanation for why I chose to create this relatively public space and fill it with all these predominantly personal thoughts and occurrences. This, for me, might just be one perfect example of why I do this thing. Thanks again, everyone.
Although we have never met, I know that the Brown family is remarkable! I have been visiting Molly's page and now your new page for some time now and felt I could never find the right words to type that would make a difference. I have a son that is Gavin's age ([he] turned 5 in May) and just started Kindergarten and flag football as well. I lost a son to T18 in November 2006 and like you I never got to say goodbye. [He] became an angel before he was ever born. I often found myself checking in on Molly's accomplishments and wishing and wondering what it would have been like for us if [our son] had lived. Molly brought so much hope, sunshine, and optimism to my view of T18 and for that I will forever be grateful. She helped me realize that through the incredible dark hole of sadness that there would be laughter, hope, and sunshine again. She helped me get to a place where I can now celebrate [my son]'s life (no matter how short). [They] are both angels and have both touched my heart and soul and left lasting footprints.
Molly is a beautiful little girl and I will forever remember her smile. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
[Anonymous]
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for taking time to write. Your words mean a great deal to us and we are so thankful to know that people find some comfort and/or understanding from sharing our journey with us. I would say you found just the right words to make a difference. Knowing that Molly's short life had meaning beyond the great joy she brought our family makes more of a difference than I could ever possibly express. I will ask the Bear to give your little angel a hug; I'm quite certain they have met already.
With sincere appreciation,
Sean
Reading that message was like an epiphany. Not that I don't appreciate all the things people have done or said (relative to this space) over the last two plus years, but this note really hit home. I have hoped for a while now that there would be some rational explanation for why I chose to create this relatively public space and fill it with all these predominantly personal thoughts and occurrences. This, for me, might just be one perfect example of why I do this thing. Thanks again, everyone.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Happy Birthday, Gavin
Gavin turns 5 today. He starts flag football next Tuesday. He starts Kindergarten next Thursday. This is all quite overwhelming.
Quickly, before I get into the birthday play-by-play, I volunteered to coach the flag football team. They may have foud someone else, we'll see. But if not it will be me. Last night at dinner I was talking about how his team needed a coach. By coincidence, his team is the Giants. Gavin looked at me with some concern and said, "Daddy how come Tom Coughlin won't be the coach." I love a) that he knows the coach's name; and b) that he either thought his team was the real Giants, and/or c) that Coucghlin would coach his team. Too funny.
So last weekend we had Gavin's bowling birthday party. It was a lot of fun. He had 8 friends there, and we took over two lanes at the bowling alley. This is the way to do it. They have it all figured out. We got there and everything was set up for us; there was a guy who took care of everything from setting up the computer to chasing balls down the lane that wouldn't make it all the way to the pins; pizza was not only ordered and delivered, but the guy actually sliced it and put it out on plates; then when two hours were up he turned off the lights in the bowling lanes and cleared the tablecloths off the tables in a not-so-subtle-yet-perfectly-acceptable "be on your way" kind of gesture.
Then we went back to the house for a little family gathering. We finally seem to have figured this one out as well: we had the food delivered from an Italian place up the street, and we used plastic and paper products for everything. At the end of the night we sent leftovers home with people and then simply swept everything else into a trash bag. Far better than the parties we've had the last few years that required an incredible amount more effort.
Highlight of the day, by far, was Gavin's present from his aunts and uncles. And of course all the accessories from other family members. Let's just say it is going to be difficult to pry any of us away from the television as long as there is Wii to be played. I am not quite certain how I let all this time pass without getting one for myself. My shoulder is actually a little sore from all the bowling we've been doing.
So that was our weekend. And no today is officially the boy's birthday. And as I mentioned at the beginning of this post: next week is a big week. I'd imagine flag football and kindergarten should yield some interesting material. Hopefully I can stay on top of it and get something up here before our next family birthday!
Quickly, before I get into the birthday play-by-play, I volunteered to coach the flag football team. They may have foud someone else, we'll see. But if not it will be me. Last night at dinner I was talking about how his team needed a coach. By coincidence, his team is the Giants. Gavin looked at me with some concern and said, "Daddy how come Tom Coughlin won't be the coach." I love a) that he knows the coach's name; and b) that he either thought his team was the real Giants, and/or c) that Coucghlin would coach his team. Too funny.
So last weekend we had Gavin's bowling birthday party. It was a lot of fun. He had 8 friends there, and we took over two lanes at the bowling alley. This is the way to do it. They have it all figured out. We got there and everything was set up for us; there was a guy who took care of everything from setting up the computer to chasing balls down the lane that wouldn't make it all the way to the pins; pizza was not only ordered and delivered, but the guy actually sliced it and put it out on plates; then when two hours were up he turned off the lights in the bowling lanes and cleared the tablecloths off the tables in a not-so-subtle-yet-perfectly-acceptable "be on your way" kind of gesture.
Then we went back to the house for a little family gathering. We finally seem to have figured this one out as well: we had the food delivered from an Italian place up the street, and we used plastic and paper products for everything. At the end of the night we sent leftovers home with people and then simply swept everything else into a trash bag. Far better than the parties we've had the last few years that required an incredible amount more effort.
Highlight of the day, by far, was Gavin's present from his aunts and uncles. And of course all the accessories from other family members. Let's just say it is going to be difficult to pry any of us away from the television as long as there is Wii to be played. I am not quite certain how I let all this time pass without getting one for myself. My shoulder is actually a little sore from all the bowling we've been doing.
So that was our weekend. And no today is officially the boy's birthday. And as I mentioned at the beginning of this post: next week is a big week. I'd imagine flag football and kindergarten should yield some interesting material. Hopefully I can stay on top of it and get something up here before our next family birthday!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Happy Birthday, Molly
Sunday was what would have been Molly's second birthday.
As we did when Molly was here with us, and we've tried to continue doing since she left, we made this event a celebration of her brief but important life. I (and all of you should as well) give my wife all the credit for making this happen.
First we went to church for a mass in Molly's memory; then we went to the cemetery; then we had a small brunch at our house. It was terrific to have our friends and families with us for these events. As was the case with the triathlon a couple weeks ago: staying busy and surrounding ourselves with loved ones makes things a little easier.
When we were at the cemetery Erin said a little poem about butterflies and then we all let live butterflies go. My mom got us these butterflies from Swallowtail Farms that we released by Molly's marker. A lot of them flew away immediately, but a few stuck around. One landed on Gavin's shirt and stayed there for a while, and another landed on the flowers next to Molly's marker.
I am not a big believer in "signs", but since someone suggested Molly was now a butterfly I must say I have seen a few that might make me change my mind. These two butterflies certainly did their part. Plus, I guess, when someone is gone and you're coming to terms with the fact that you'll never see them again [please refer back to the old blog and some long ago post where I promised no religion or politics in this space] you start looking for ways to keep them close.
At any rate, it was as nice a day as one could ask for considering the circumstances.
Additionally, a number of people brought gifts to be donated to RWJ Child Life Services. When Molly was in the hospital they always made sure she had a mobile or a swing. They also provided a place for Gavin to go get some energy out. Erin felt this would be a good way to remember Molly, and thank the folks at Child Life. So yesterday we delivered a boatload of toys for them to add to their collection. I think we may try to make this an annual thing.
Happy birthday, Bear.
As we did when Molly was here with us, and we've tried to continue doing since she left, we made this event a celebration of her brief but important life. I (and all of you should as well) give my wife all the credit for making this happen.
First we went to church for a mass in Molly's memory; then we went to the cemetery; then we had a small brunch at our house. It was terrific to have our friends and families with us for these events. As was the case with the triathlon a couple weeks ago: staying busy and surrounding ourselves with loved ones makes things a little easier.
When we were at the cemetery Erin said a little poem about butterflies and then we all let live butterflies go. My mom got us these butterflies from Swallowtail Farms that we released by Molly's marker. A lot of them flew away immediately, but a few stuck around. One landed on Gavin's shirt and stayed there for a while, and another landed on the flowers next to Molly's marker.
I am not a big believer in "signs", but since someone suggested Molly was now a butterfly I must say I have seen a few that might make me change my mind. These two butterflies certainly did their part. Plus, I guess, when someone is gone and you're coming to terms with the fact that you'll never see them again [please refer back to the old blog and some long ago post where I promised no religion or politics in this space] you start looking for ways to keep them close.
At any rate, it was as nice a day as one could ask for considering the circumstances.
Additionally, a number of people brought gifts to be donated to RWJ Child Life Services. When Molly was in the hospital they always made sure she had a mobile or a swing. They also provided a place for Gavin to go get some energy out. Erin felt this would be a good way to remember Molly, and thank the folks at Child Life. So yesterday we delivered a boatload of toys for them to add to their collection. I think we may try to make this an annual thing.
Happy birthday, Bear.
Friday, August 8, 2008
What and Why?
Directly, both questions can be answered simply: it's a new space for me to write things about anything I want, without feeling like I am infringing on Molly's territory.
So how does this new space differ from the old? Why does a new title and background change the fact that Molly is still often the primary focus?
I don't know. It just didn't feel right the other way.
The title of this blog was stolen from someone who promised Molly she would consciously acknowledge all the fun things she gets to do - that Molly never got to do - as being done for Molly. I am going to do the same. It's pretty much the only way -- otherwise it's all what and why.
What and why are pretty common questions. What and why were certainly two questions we found ourselves asking when we received Molly's Trisomy 18 diagnosis in March 2006. We continued asking these questions with every challenge she faced; when she left us on March 13; while we prepare for what would have been her second birthday this Sunday. This could consume a person. I have a better idea.
Every day I wake up, put both feet on the floor, and remind myself to do what I have to do to get through today. Gavin demands attention and energy from me, both of which he deserves; my wife needs my love and support, which she has certainly earned; my job requires focus and optimism; my friends provide opportunities to relax and have fun. I do all of these things because I have to. Not because I am required to, or expected to. Literally because I have to: I have to get through the day.
This space is eventually going to be filled with things that get me through the day. Some will be about nothing; some will be about something; lots will be about Molly. While it may not be Molly's space, it's still Molly that is driving a lot of our day to day activities. And I am sure she is fine with that.
Otherwise what was the point?
So hopefully we can fill this space with lots of different things that can help us all get through the day. Because we all have to.
Because Molly would want it that way.
Because we can still do the things she never got to do.
And because, just like you, I never got a chance to say goodbye.
So how does this new space differ from the old? Why does a new title and background change the fact that Molly is still often the primary focus?
I don't know. It just didn't feel right the other way.
The title of this blog was stolen from someone who promised Molly she would consciously acknowledge all the fun things she gets to do - that Molly never got to do - as being done for Molly. I am going to do the same. It's pretty much the only way -- otherwise it's all what and why.
What and why are pretty common questions. What and why were certainly two questions we found ourselves asking when we received Molly's Trisomy 18 diagnosis in March 2006. We continued asking these questions with every challenge she faced; when she left us on March 13; while we prepare for what would have been her second birthday this Sunday. This could consume a person. I have a better idea.
Every day I wake up, put both feet on the floor, and remind myself to do what I have to do to get through today. Gavin demands attention and energy from me, both of which he deserves; my wife needs my love and support, which she has certainly earned; my job requires focus and optimism; my friends provide opportunities to relax and have fun. I do all of these things because I have to. Not because I am required to, or expected to. Literally because I have to: I have to get through the day.
This space is eventually going to be filled with things that get me through the day. Some will be about nothing; some will be about something; lots will be about Molly. While it may not be Molly's space, it's still Molly that is driving a lot of our day to day activities. And I am sure she is fine with that.
Otherwise what was the point?
So hopefully we can fill this space with lots of different things that can help us all get through the day. Because we all have to.
Because Molly would want it that way.
Because we can still do the things she never got to do.
And because, just like you, I never got a chance to say goodbye.
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