What and Why?

Directly, both questions can be answered simply: it's a new space for me to write things about anything I want, without feeling like I am infringing on Molly's territory.

So how does this new space differ from the old? Why does a new title and background change the fact that Molly is still often the primary focus?

I don't know. It just didn't feel right the other way.

The title of this blog was stolen from someone who promised Molly she would consciously acknowledge all the fun things she gets to do - that Molly never got to do - as being done for Molly. I am going to do the same. It's pretty much the only way -- otherwise it's all what and why.

What and why are pretty common questions. What and why were certainly two questions we found ourselves asking when we received Molly's Trisomy 18 diagnosis in March 2006. We continued asking these questions with every challenge she faced; when she left us on March 13; while we prepare for what would have been her second birthday this Sunday. This could consume a person. I have a better idea.

Every day I wake up, put both feet on the floor, and remind myself to do what I have to do to get through today. Gavin demands attention and energy from me, both of which he deserves; my wife needs my love and support, which she has certainly earned; my job requires focus and optimism; my friends provide opportunities to relax and have fun. I do all of these things because I have to. Not because I am required to, or expected to. Literally because I have to: I have to get through the day.

This space is eventually going to be filled with things that get me through the day. Some will be about nothing; some will be about something; lots will be about Molly. While it may not be Molly's space, it's still Molly that is driving a lot of our day to day activities. And I am sure she is fine with that.

Otherwise what was the point?

So hopefully we can fill this space with lots of different things that can help us all get through the day. Because we all have to.

Because Molly would want it that way.

Because we can still do the things she never got to do.

And because, just like you, I never got a chance to say goodbye.